Hi! Welcome to my LJ.
The link you clicked (from Facebook) has taken you to this entry only, but if you wanna kill time or see what I've been up to lately in my life, then read the following steps:

1. Clicking mystiques-wish.livejournal.com will show you the last 10 or so entries I've written from the most recent to latest, so scroll to the bottom and work your way up.
2. Clicking "Archive" will allow you to pick any month of any year of your interest, if you really wanna read about my life in the past.
3. Clicking "Bout Mah Peeps" will link you to the entries of those I've added as friends.
4. Clicking "About Mystie" will take you to my LJ profile.
5. Clicking sakuradustyrose.livejournal.com will take you to my old LJ, the one which I reserve for tales of Japan. You can click on the 'calendar' there to start from September '04 if you wish :P
   See here for more info.

That's about it really, I just try to write and keep this updated a damn sight better than previous journals, by keeping it short (ish) and sweet, lol.

PS: I've allowed non-LJ'ers to add comments (now), as you'll only see the posts I leave open to the public anyways. But do please leave your name or nickname if you are posting (or use the open ID option), just so I know who you are ;)

Enjoy~

(Apr 08)

 I found out that I took an additional day off today to recover from Amecon. :|

I found out that I forgot I had done that and so came into work.
Saw my name wasn't on the rota, saw I had meant to rest at home today (and I'm feeling physically wary still)
And yet... I came into work ;_;

I decided to stay for the day anyways, since I've spent money to travel here anyways *sniff*
But how pathetically tragic.

I had forseen my fatigue from the weekend and still went into work forgetting that I had the day off. (Which would have been good for uploading pictures and finishing the rest of the LJ entries for here.)
Now I have no real time off until Fri and even then I'm rushing about for Saturday, so it's Sunday when I can chill.

*sighs again*

  

 - Destroy all nuclear wepaons (and knowledge pertaining to it), biological and chemical weapons. Just make the current rockets trained on each other disappear.

 - Balance the weather, offer rain to drought areas, bring back some life to lands long barren in the poorest countries, give people the chance to live for themselves instead of handouts.

 - While we're at that, instill knowledge of condoms and respect for sex and pleasure to many men (and some women) in many non western countries who thing women are no more than baby machines -.-
Let's help to stop the spread of AIDS
(no i wouldn't cure it, but i would offer humanity the hope of finding a cure for it, guarenteeing that someday they will.)

Now 8pm and I’ve lain in bed all day.
Tomorrow I work from 11-8 and get home at 9pm.
I go to fitness class on Friday morning and get home by 11.45am.
I then leave home at midday to head off to Leicester.

And I’ve yet to begin packing, or item gathering for selling, or preparing for karaoke like I should be doing.

I’m not thinking too much on the reasons why I’m not so… enthusiastic, it’ll probably be my last con for a while, so I have known for the entire year of 2008 that I should put more effort into having fun with it than I usually do…

Granted I’ve been sniffling and sneezing and feeling poorly all day, but I’ve also been glancing at the clock, hour by hour, seeing the day slip away, losing time that’ll never be regained and making it a lot harder for myself.

And I don’t seem to care. :|

On the plus side, I’m not stressing out like crazy like I’d usually do but this extreme other me seems ten times worse.
I hear often that I tend to overthink, so the flip side to that is now I don’t seem to care anymore?

Maybe.
*sigh*

We’ll see how I get on in next 36 hours, hopefully I’ll sort myself out by then and feel somewhat excited for this.

Sweet merciful silence *embraces it*

Just came from the children’s library, did two shifts today and that was two too many. x.x
Today (on Tuesdays) the British Museum peeps came over to do some Ancient Roman activities today with all kids. Of course childminders come, dump their kids to, you know empty as many shelves of books as possible onto the floor so you can’t even see the carpet and we have no choice but to pick them up and place on the return shelf which is just disgustingly full cause of lazy ass childminders or parents not cleaning up after their kids but rather sitting and chatting to their friends and doing jack all.
I already (semi) had a go at two today who I said ‘the child can toss all books on the floor, just make sure you place them back properly.'
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Anyways, as sick as I am at the moment (yep, finally got to taking Lemsip for two days so far, so body going through the customary ritual of flushing everything out, so runny nose, sneezing, swollen glands, yada yada.)

Woke up feeling like death, now not too bad (3.15pm) – but still contagious. At least the cold sore’s finally healing and swelling has gone down, don’t look like I’ve had ten rounds with Mike Tyson anymore.
*groans*
Gotta get ready for Amecon too, but haven’t bothered to unpack the mass of boxes spread in the entire flat to decide what to sell for the event, have to get a suitcase and begin packing tonight.

And all I wanna do is curl up on bed and rest for one day :(

Well, least I’m in the basement for two hours *giddy* - with age old books, dust and silence, silence, silence <3 

*sobs*
Well... part of me blames me, (the part that always blames me) since I have been nursing a cold for the odd, ooh let's day 3-4 months. >.>
I bought a pack of lemsip last week during my visit to the hospital cause I've been meaning for ages to just take about 3, 1 per night and flush it out of me (gets worse before it gets better)
But of course, with the nearly everday working, didn't wanna be overly poorly, yada yada, I made my excuses and am now paying the price ;_;

I guess it takes any weak moment when my immune system is down, or when I'm emotionally stressed (thus immune system down) or thinking too much and I've been meaning to write a pensive post for either end of July or yesterday (1st Aug) - eitherway, it's semi angsty - but this time of the year usually sticks me in permanent pensive mode, an incident on Thursday night kinda made me depressed some and emotionally pick myself apart as has been my hobby over the last few years.

As a result anyways, woke up this morning at 7.30ish with a stupid cold sore *wail*
Thing is, this usually comes with the tingling warning or something, but last night, watched movie, nothing.
This morning, wake up, it's there. (bastard thing)

I'm well into self conscious, place paper bag on head mode now, don't wanna go to work and speak to people and Zovorax is being readily applied but I wonder how far advanced it's gone already before it gets better ;_;

*sigh*
Well, thus my consequence of not shifiting cold, I think I'll be having that cup of lemsip tonight and lay off the physically exhausting myself by working 6 days in a row with a 1 day break >.>

*sigh*
So I’m home from A&E – haven’t been to hospital for a looong time (good thing) but yeah A&E...
I do feel for the nurses there, lol. Makes my dealing with the public look like a walk in the park.
I got there, within 25mins saw a nurse who only assessed my issue with the glass before I had to wait. Aparently there were 10 people ahead of me *groan* but come 7pm, I checked again and after the doctor saw the list she said 5 people left.
Spirits rose, 5 peeps in 30mins, this isn’t too bad.
(Yes ladies and gentlemen, it definitely is too god to be true for an NHS A&E)

So I take a trip to Asda to do some shopping for the house (see keeping with the contribution thing) – come back 30mins later so it’s 7.30pm
I had estimated that I’d be seen to by 8.30pm or so and be home by 9 (am well aware of those 2+ hour waits...)
So just read my book, igoring my somtach trying to eat itself since I didn’t reall eat anything today... the wntire day after this fiasco.
What do you do if there’s chances that you’ve eaten shards of glass? :\

So 8.30 rolled around... nothing.
9pm rolled around... nothing.
By now I was getting angsty and tired and asked a nurse bout seeing where I was on the list. She asked when I got here and when I told her, she discredited my story quite plainly (aka calling me a liar) and said there’s only 1 doctor seeing many people, it’s a 4 hour wait.

Her attitude wasn’t helpful, it was enough to severely piss a guy off that he started swearing at her and everything and she just called security.
He had left looong time after they arrived, but I can understand their frustration. Even if there were 5 people before you, if 3 more come in and their problems are more severe, I assume they get jumped up the queue somewhat.
So tip, when you see the nurse, act dead, you’ll see the doctor faster that way in A&E.

Still angsty with my 5 bags of Asda shopping laying there, I went to the receptionist who looked just as much worse for wear like the rest of us, lol.
Not an easy environment.
He was nicer though, checked my name on the system, saw the time I came in. By then it was 3 hours since having arrived, so since there was this 4hr wait going on, I had at worst 45mins.
I sighed, said ‘okay’ and went to sit down, carrying on with the reading.
Within 10mins, I got called in (hurray!) and went to see the doctor :)
-So I told her the problems, she had me lie down and checked my tummy muscles for any pain or discomfort. (She somehow knew that I was on my period... I dare not fathom ‘how’ from just a tummy check)
Also at this point is where all the motherly advice of ‘leave with clean knickers and socks and underwear! You never know when you gotta go hospital!’
Was thinking ‘man, I hope I’m decent enough’, lol. Teaches me a lesson or serves as a nice reminder I guess.

After that, since tummy seemed to be okay aside from digesting itself from the inside, which I told her was cramping a little cause I’ve not eaten a thing, she went to get a flat wooden stick (alike a ice cream one) and check my throat for any cuts, scratches etc.
Seemed to be fine (thankfully)
So knowing we couldn’t do much, the only advice was to keep an eye on what I pass out over the next 24-36hrs, if there’s any bleeding, spotting or vomiting, come straight back. I can go see my GP later in the week if A&E is long (damn straight) – I guess I’ll book an appointment later this week, since the worst case scenario has been checked out for now, I got a few things to sort out anyways.

That being said, she sent me on my merry way and I left the traumas of A&E, going home to where I am now.
So it’s a bit of a waiting game :\
Scariest thing though, is the jar I used the sauce from, I checked when I got home to see if it had indeed cracked from within but nothing...
No lines, no splits, no... nothing.
So how that chunk of glass ended up inside, I’ll never know, since the jar hit the floor.
I guess I can just call it a close call and hope for the future best...

Now to sort that will out, lol.
(It’s something I had been thinking to do all year and wrote it on my life ‘to-do’ list, but it takes an incident like today to perhaps give me the kick up my butt that I find myself needing in life, sadly...)

Ha…

And here was I feeling positive yesterday after my driving lesson, I came into work today feeling refreshed for not having been in the building since Tuesday (and having last weekend off too, due to Oxford being cancelled)
And so, at lunch today, I take a forkful of spaghetti Bolognese, the sauce that I made last night and hear ‘crunch’ against me teeth. I carry on chewing real slow to find the source, my tongue locates it and I spit out a mini chunk of glass.


The story is, last nite, my mother dropped both jars of sauce onto the floor. One remained happy, the other shattered. So naturally we tossed the shattered one away and the other one I used for the sauce since the lid didn’t fall off and the bottle didn’t break.
And somehow a 50mm (half a cm) lil cube of glass found its way into my sauce.
Possible reason being the jar cracked ‘inside’…somehow… I dunno :(

So after checking out with my workmate who graduated in medicine this year, he happily told me what’ll happen to my throat, stomach or intestines should shards of glass wanna get a little to happy with the stabbing and ripping of my precious insides.

Yeah, if I’m meant to die soon, this isn’t the way I’d like to go out, internal bleeding *sigh*

So I dunno what to do.
I’ve kinda been in a daze where I’m wondering that I should be more concerned bout myself. On the other hand, I consider myself damn lucky to have caught the piece (not shard, but it was a whole piece, I really shouldn’t have spat it in the bin and saved it) just how much more ended up inside within that first/second forkful?

It being Saturday means that my GP is closed, only option is A&E – and even then if I get a scan, it may take months (time I don’t have beyond 3) to get an appointment, etc etc.
On the other hand, this could cause some serious problems in the future, ultimately internal pain and death if not checked out. :\

Guess a trip to A&E today wouldn’t hurt….
*sigh* 

So it’s the night of the end of my taking time off ride for the week. In the last 7 days, I’ve been off Fri-Sun (cause Oxford got cancelled) and Wed-Fri (today). It’s weird, the reason I took the day off yesterday was to give myself some time to sort out my life for Amecon (sell my Japanese anime merchandise that I sadly never got to use/display in the first place)
I figure some of the stuff deserves better homes than the insides of a box for the last 2 years :(
But out of the 6 days of rest, 2 of them I just didn’t do anything. :\

Like nothing, like sit on bed all damn day, idling in IRC or AIM (yeah took the leap of faith to become visible after being invis for like 2 years or so) – so there was a lot of catching up with people over the weekend, Saturday was mainly done for that.
Sunday included going to a Christening party and seeing my cousin, so I guess that was something new for a change.
Wednesday (after working Mon & Tues) was another total crash out. There’s so much I need to do with my life, like email and letter correspondence, updating the LJ, or uploading photos or translating something, but I just... crashed.
By Thursday I was feeling somewhat guilty and had decided since I was allowed the day off, to be proactive since Friday I was gonna be out and about.
The only thing I screwed up was thinking that the fitness class for body attack was on today (although I knew it was Thurs night) – and only figured that out during my driving lesson when I drove past the sports centre.

Seeing as today I had a dentist appointment at 9.30am (wasn’t too bad, usual pain and torture and after taste of blood, else fine.)
Went to see my old nanny... she’s not well, been fighting cancer and all sorts and I think she’s currently in hospital now. I was trying my luck by just going there without letting her know but even then if she’s in hospital, they’d be no one to pick up the phone, so she’s someone I really need to see real soon. I don’t think there’s much time.

So driving, I know I didn’t write about the first lesson with the new instructor called Omar which was on the 12th. My old one Louie, who is such a freaking awesome instructor, had family issues that rendered him unable to teach all of 2008 (so far) – seeing as I didn’t wanna get another person, I waited and waited and by June with no chance of him continuing I asked to be referred. This sucked cause one, he cut me a deal for cheap prices for the lessons, two he was freaking awesome and three, I began on Halloween last year, for 12 hours worth (6 weeks) so technically I was planning to take my test in like April. I really wanted to pass by this summer so I’d have some time to drive around and feel more confident but now I’m running out of time.
So plan to take my test in first week of October, kinda a ichika bachika (do or die) situation. If I don’t pass, I’ll have to re do my theory again. It doesn’t expire until Feb, but then I plan to ship out by Oct, so go figure.
Ugh.
I was having cold feet earlier last week about leaving in October, was thinking to postpone it for 3 more months and leave in January or something. Just to save more money, work 3 more months at the library, really finalise things in the UK.

But the time is now, and I can finalise things now (if I kick my butt)
Amecon is nearly here and even for that, I didn’t bother to write out or try for the writing competition (that I got 1st place last year.)
Didn’t feel like ‘defending’ my title so to speak. The idea and story is all there, I even wrote a synopsis for it, but *sigh*
I dunno what’s going on with me vs motivation vs will power.

Just wish I could find my drive.
It’s funny, but with Omar and Louie, both could see how much I remembered when I started driving with them. With Louie it was a 4 year break, with Omar, 7 months. But driving is a set of common sense and set skills that are often repeated, so it seemed to integrate itself into me.
Both ironically said
“You can drive, just have more confidence with yourself and you’ll be fine.”

I didn’t think I was that low on it (at least not on the surface) – perhaps it shows through my driving when I cringe at cars whizzing past me at stupid speeds on tiny-ass London roads, lol.
I dunno, at least I keep the negative comments to myself on my driving while driving but both instructors sense the same thing. Maybe it’s all the unsure questions I ask...
After today’s lesson however (after a 2 weeks break) I’m getting used to working a diesel car instead of the typical petrol one. Hee hee, Omar was quite impressed on our first lesson that I knew the difference from merely starting the engine and hearing it sound different. I further impressed him with how diesel work in terms of power (thank you Emma’s bf for that random knowledge) :p
It’s bigger than anything I’ve driven and finding out that I could drive this car on clutch alone (veeeeery freaky moment that, zero acceleration needed to make the car go 10mph) – am beginning to understand the true nature of a diesel car.
Kinda interesting :)

So yeah... no fitness class this week, means next Fri is gonna hurt some :/
Actually got to doing chores, washing dishes, vacuuming the entire place, cooking bolognese for work, boogieing while dancing (haven't done that in a while) tidying kitchen, etc. (If I get a day off and don’t do chores, its aural stress) I received a spoonful of it yesterday, so decided for once in months to actually “contribute” to home, I was achieving a few things, so kinda a productive day. ^^
(Not to mention after the dentist, I went to get my glasses fixed and ended up buying two mini leather backpack bags to treat myself... damn sales) >.>
But they were a bargin and I hate handbags, so it’s my middle ground between my usual pouch and a handbag. I can use those for semi formal or smart occasions.

(And no, the retail therapy this week is not splurging out of control… but the zen stone was 50% off and I’ve been wanting one for a while.)
The mp3 I got now I bought almost 3 years to the month, 1gb, very tiny, it still work and does me well, but it being Sony, I’m annoyed at the having to install Sony programs to transfer files, so Zen is pretty nifty that way with the simple ‘drag and drop’ of mp3’s into it. ^^
Plus it’s 4gb... well I’ll eventually open it and show you, only got it yesterday and since I was working on Akemi’s presentation for Amecon, I was using it as motivation. NO playing with new baby until that essay is done.
I’m almost finished, will continue on Sunday and email it to her before the weekend is out.

Wow... seems I had lots to say huh. ^^;;
Well this has all been things I’ve been meaning to type into here, day by day, just the mental excuses and excuses and procrastination of the worst kind, then that ever sinking, useless feeling of not being able to keep with anything for a long while...

I think I’ll give myself a nice pat on the back when this LJ reaches 6 months. I’ve done better to keep it going each month and while I did slip for a bit, I’m still maintaining some form of discipline with it.
Maybe I’ll even feel proud of it someday...

Right, no more rambling, got work tomorrow *sigh* - had to go back sometime, lol.
Chilling with a Buffy ep then sleeping, so catch you peeps later. ^^

Probably safer that I wrote about this morning now than when I was in the seeing red mode as caused by the lovely London public transport system. I was full of rage and mass swearing too, if Mystie is swearing a blue streak, it’s not a good day and taking refuge in bunkers is usually a good idea.
As it turned out, I actually left home on time (with sacrifice of breakfast) got to the bus stop just before 9.20am and sat my butt down for it.
9.35am -  still waiting, now pissed up, call into work to tell them that I’m gonna be late.
9.50am - totally pissed, somewhat despondent as now it isn’t  "I’m late" 
but 
"just how freaking late am I gonna be, where’s the motherf&!*ing bus!?!"

One turns up, and lo and behold he’s only going ¾ of the entire route, my destination requires that it goes the entire route as its near the end of the final stop. So I’m already pissed, asking the driver if I can get a transfer ticket, or not swipe my pass for this ride, because it’d mean I’d have to pay double to get somewhere which you’re not going and I’ve waited 45 freaking mins, am late for work, cut me a break.
Nonetheless to say the driver was a cocksucking bastard (trust me, I’m swearing less than if I wrote this as soon as I got into work), didn’t care, said to pay now or get off and no he wasn’t giving me a transfer ticket (rather he went ‘what for’) 

So I curse and swear and get off the bus, no point holding every else up and wait another 5mins for the next one… which was only going for another 6 stops.
(This just gets better and better...) 

So I semi ranted to this driver, there was apparently a fire incident in the high street when I called TFL (transport for London) to find out wtf was going on, so that’s why I saw five freaking buses happily go the other direction, but none on my side.
(Twats)
He however decided to give me a break for which I was highly grateful for, by first off, letting me ride his bus for free and secondly, giving me the transfer ticket, so I could catch the 316 for free and then catch the 31 to work (so it turned into a 3 bus journey instead of one)
Reached there at 10.30am, ranted to my manager bout arguing with the bus driver and getting tossed off and my woes of getting here as well as apologising for my lateness. To compensate, Mystie has no tea breaks today (we get two 15mins ones, so there goes my half an hour to make up) *sigh*

Anyways, now tis 1.20pm, am on foyer after an early lunch, full of food and energy and a better mood to be honest.
Let’s see what the rest of the day brings...